Life sucks, and then you die — as reworded by the world’s major “isms”

The Real Meaning of Life

Life sucks.

—Buddhism

Life sucks, so what?

—Taoism

Life sucks, and then you die.

—Existentialism

Life sucks, over and over and over again.

—Hinduism/reincarnation

Life sucks and you’re going to heaven or hell afterward, but you can’t know for certain which one.

—Old Calvinist predestination Christianity

Life sucks and you’re going to heaven or hell afterward: Do you feel lucky, punk?

—Updated for today’s more modern Christian

(nod of the hat to Dirty Harry)

Read moreLife sucks, and then you die — as reworded by the world’s major “isms”

Cats versus kids: the choice is clear

Honestly, kids don’t have much going for them other than carrying on the family name. And you might have very good reason to fear even that. Cats, on the other hand… Well, by almost every other measure, they’ve got kids beat by a country mile.

From the cost to raise them to their agreeable nature, disciplined habits, all-around respectful behavior, and athletic ability — from toilet training all the way through the teenage years — it’s not hard to find a slew of reasons why you might find a cat preferable to a kid. Why anybody in their right mind would think otherwise is hard to fathom. In fact, once done reading these 36 reasons, you might well be itchin’ to find the nearest merchandise return counter to exchange your snotty hapless kid for a felicitous furry feline.

  1. You can raise six cats for the cost of one-quarter of a kid.
  2. You don’t have to pay for cats to go to college.
  3. Cats won’t owe student loan debt the rest of their life and yours.
  4. Cats come in five or six different fur colors.
  5. Kids scream. Cats purr.
  6. Cats will still cuddle with you on the sofa after they’ve grown up.
  7. Kids will move back home to live on the sofa after they’ve grown up.
  8. Cats know how to pee in the box right away and don’t need to be potty-trained.
  9. When a cat meows back at you, you know they appreciate you. When a kid talks back, it ain’t the same.

Read moreCats versus kids: the choice is clear

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